Bati bati si zindagi…
Ek adhoori kahaani
Likh rahi hun main...
Bati bati si zindagi
Jee rahi hun main...
Bin kahe, wafa kar rahi hun main
Bin maange, pyaar de rahi hun main
Anjaani is raah par...
Akeli chal rahi hun main
Han, kuch bati bati si zindagi
Jee rahi hun main.
Andhere mein suraj ki lau
ko dhoond rahi hun main...
Raat ke mayuus chand se
Chup rahi hun main.
Thak chuki hun phir bhi…
Yeh bati bati si zindagi
Jee rahi hun main.
Likh rahi hun main...
Bati bati si zindagi
Jee rahi hun main...
Bin kahe, wafa kar rahi hun main
Bin maange, pyaar de rahi hun main
Anjaani is raah par...
Akeli chal rahi hun main
Han, kuch bati bati si zindagi
Jee rahi hun main.
Andhere mein suraj ki lau
ko dhoond rahi hun main...
Raat ke mayuus chand se
Chup rahi hun main.
Thak chuki hun phir bhi…
Yeh bati bati si zindagi
Jee rahi hun main.
posted by Shilpa F D'Mello at 6:52 AM
4 Comments:
Nice but make it more lengthy as it sounds like a half baked thought or rather feeling.
"mayus chaand se chup rahi hoin mein" does not sound in the right context as compared to the first line. This line has 2 negatives whereas the first one has a negative and a positive.
Definative improvement. Keep going....
hmmmm...
don't really know what to say....
style of writing is again good,but am a lot confused about the thought involved.
There is a well defined patteren developing in your writing, which always points to one area,...... i will wait and see how long will it remain that way....keep writing.
Kuch paane ki chaah mein bahut kuch kho rahi hun mein...
shaam ke saaye mein subah ka ravi talashti hoon mein...
Bati Bati si zindigi jee rahi hoon mein...
Ek chuppi mein bhi koi anjaani aawaz khojti hoon mein...
Ghar ke aaine mein apne aap ko dhoondti hoon mein
Bati Bati si zindigi jee rahi hoon mein...
Will someone take fred off my blog! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeese! Hate people stealing my thunder!
Post a Comment
<< Home